Toilet Training for Your Toddler
Toilet training often provokes great anxiety in parents. Many seem to see it as some sort of competition - the earlier they get their child potty trained the brighter their child must be, and the better they as parents must be. Total nonsense of course! Trying to potty train your child before he or she is ready is a recipe for frustration, frayed nerves, and traumatized children.
There is a time for everything in nature. The less you tamper with it the better it is for you and your child. Your child will be ready for it one day and then the whole process will be more natural, much easier, and less stressful. Don’t compare your child with the neighbor’s child. It proves nothing.
Parents should never compare children because every child is different. Not many toddlers are genuinely toilet trained before the age of 20 months. The girls start at around the age of two and boys around the age of three. Almost all children are toilet trained by the age of 4. Some continue with bedwetting till the age of 5. This should put you at ease. You have no need to be in a hurry to toilet train your little toddler. If you force it before he is ready, there will be problems like soiling that can continue for many years into the future.
Here are some tips to prepare your child for the toilet training and how to know when he or she is ready to start.
1. Before you start with potty training, it is important for your child to be familiar with the body parts, their functions, and the names you use as a family. Every family has its own names. So, it really doesn’t matter what names you give as long as everyone knows what they mean.
2. It is a good idea to let the child see you or other family member, of the same sex, using the toilet. Again, it’s a misconception that it will traumatize the kid. No, it won’t - unless you make a big thing of it. If you are natural your child will consider it natural as well. Talk about it in a mature manner so that it becomes a target to achieve when they are grown up. Toddlers are imitating grown-ups all the time. And, this will instill a sense of anticipation and desire to be like them. You may allow your child to flush the toilet; it helps to get them used to the whole process.
3. Fix a date for starting the toilet training. Bring the small potty out before that and leave it in a visible place. Talk to your child about what it is, and what it is for. Ask him when he would like to use it, but don’t start right away.
How to know when the child is ready? Look for these signs:
1. The time will come when he will tell you when he is wet or dirty. Change his diaper immediately to give a clean and dry feeling as against being wet and dirty. Soon he will come and tell you that he needs a diaper change. Make sure you do it straight away and offer a lot of praise.
2. The second phase is when he has to decipher the signals. This can take a long time. Be patient. Often they get to know at the last moment, and then there is not sufficient time to rush to the toilet and pull off the diaper. By the time the clothes and diaper is removed the deed may have been done. Be prepared for many such accidents. If it happens too often, it is better to wait some more.
3. See if your child can follow simple directions like taking a piece of tissue and throwing it into the toilet. If not, or if he refuses to do so, then you need to address that problem first.
4. Look out for signs of developing bowel and bladder control, such as clear patterns of bowel movements. If your child’s stools are firm and well formed, and he is able to stay dry for several hours at a time, he is ready for toilet training because he will be able to control himself long enough to get to the bathroom. However, don’t let the child strain to withhold; that can cause more serious problems. If your child experiences pain on passing a motion, you may have to change the diet to make the stool softer and easier to pass.
5. Above all, give a positive feeling about toilet to your child. He should look forward to the day when he can use a toilet like a grown up. It all depends on the preparatory work you have done. Some children have fears about flushing water etc, which will have to be addressed before starting the toilet training. You will need to make your child familiar with the toilet and let him practice sitting on the potty with clothes on. This will reassure him that he won’t disappear and get flushed away like the potty does.
Once all these signs start to come together, she is probably ready to get started. When you do, remember to keep it all positive! Rewards for success, “oh, well”, not punishments, for failures.
Bon Voyage!
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