getting personal

by Kenrick Cleveland

There are certain cultural norms and rules of decorum people are expected to adhere to in society and in business contexts specifically. I am of the mind that rules are meant to be bent, if not broken entirely.

In business, the rules of professional decorum tell us that we shouldn’t get too personal with our prospects or clients. Of course, there are absolutely topics which should not be brought up and things which shouldn’t be said, but I truly believe that our prospects and clients are looking for us to get personal.

Adding storytelling to your business interactions is one way to build and keep amazing relationships that will last a lifetime.

One of my favorite ways to create fast and powerful rapport is to start with the following statement: “Let me share a secret with you. . .” A secret? I like secrets. They’re exciting. And doesn’t the word ’secret’ sort of compel you to want to know more? Sharing a secret with someone makes them feel special.

By working these secrets and other personal anecdotes into your criteria elicitation, you speed up the trust a person has in you. I’m not suggesting you come out with anything absurd, but a pointed story that has a point in what you’re selling.

I share personal stories when I’m teaching. I will often open up about mistakes I made as a young man just beginning in sales and figuring out the world of persuasion the hard way, when sometimes honesty and integrity were not at the top of my list of priorities. These are tough lessons which I wish I didn’t have to learn and which I’m not proud of. And relating them is difficult because they are blotches on my personal integrity which embarrass me. And yet, having overcome these and having learned from my past, I tell these stories to illustrate to my students what *not* to do as they begin to persuade.

Getting into the more personal aspects of storytelling is only part of persuasion. I am always certain to step outside of my first person narratives and explain how personal storytelling is an art. When you think about it, you can be an artist of almost anything. You can be an artist of business, an artist of personal relationships, an artist of persuasion, an artist in the kitchen, an artist with actual art supplies. When we start to think of all of life as a creative canvas, magical things can happen as a result. Some of the creativity we express is natural, other bits of our creativity, we’ve had to nurture and grow. I can tell you this: I was not born the persuader I am today. I’ve literally put years of practice into attaining the level of expertise I have today and each day I am grateful again for having put the time into learning such an amazing art.

So for your story, make sure it relates to what you’re selling and start with the ending. Reverse engineer it so that you begin the story with, “Let me tell you a secret. . . ” Stand back and watch the rapport and trust increase in magnitudes. All of us crave a good story.

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